098. What can cars teach us about human communication?

Lessons from a left blinker

Yesterday, I was driving behind a car that had its left blinker on for a solid few minutes. My ready anticipation of the other driver’s future action transitioned into mild frustration and eventually gave way to resigned acceptance.

As I drove, I realized that the limits of car-to-car communication were a pretty good metaphor for the limits of human-to-human interaction as well, with your internal dialogue as a car driver and your body language/speech as the car’s lights/horn, i.e. how you communicate with the outside world.

You’re basically a meaty Gundam! (src)

From there, we can break down car-to-car communication into four stages:

1. The driver’s intention

2. How the driver uses the car’s blinkers/horn

3. How much the other driver is paying attention to your car’s signals

4. The other driver’s interpretation of your car’s signals

Driving requires a shared understanding of the rules of the road. In order for the blinkers to be effective, all drivers must be familiar with the meaning the shared language of the lights. We can take the metaphor even further by examining how rules of the road differ across countries. An obvious one is which side of the road you drive on, but here are a few interesting cultural ones that aren’t taught in any driving school:

• In Japan, drivers will flash their hazards as a way to say “thank you”

  ¹

• In Mexico, if there’s a truck in front of you and they can tell you need to pass, they’ll leave their left turn signal on to let you know it’s safe

  ²

• In Australia, you can beep the horn 3 times on a single lane road, and a slow driver ahead of you will pull over to let you pass

  ³

As I’ve written before, cross-cultural communication can be tricky. If I see any extra blinking or flashing in America, I’m automatically assuming the other driver is swearing at me. But even when drivers are following the same driving conventions, other road users may still misinterpret their intentions. Luckily for us, humans have a bit more nuance than cars.

⁴

With this in mind, we can translate the above 4 steps for human-to-human interaction:

1. What we mean to say

2. What we actually say

3. What the other person hears

4. What the other person thinks you mean

In general, I try to give other drivers the benefit of the doubt (while still prioritizing my safety). Maybe that driver in front of me was an old lady or a parent calming down their rowdy kid. Whatever the case, I try to keep in mind the divide between intention and expression, whether I’m driving or talking with someone about a difficult topic.

By keeping these steps in mind, we can hopefully improve our communication and avoid misunderstandings. Drive safe out there!

1. https://soranews24.com/2014/08/19/the-clever-way-japanese-drivers-thank-each-other-without-saying-a-word%E3%80%90video%E3%80%91/

2. https://www.reddit.com/r/cars/comments/ojiwxu/comment/h520xxp/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

3. https://www.reddit.com/r/cars/comments/ojiwxu/comment/h52225f/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

4. Demetri Martin has a great bit about wishing for a second “undo” horn.